Job Search-- Should I WRITE FOR my dyslexic boyfriend?

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Paris608
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:42 am

Job Search-- Should I WRITE FOR my dyslexic boyfriend?

Post by Paris608 » Tue Jun 27, 2017 9:04 am

I'd like some advice/ stories of experience about writing struggles and job search with dyslexia:

My boyfriend who I've been dating (and will probably get married to soon) has minor to medium dyslexia. I am not dyslexic and have had a lot of practice with writing as well as some natural talent, and I guess I have not always understood (and that's why I want to learn).

He is currently just out of college doing job search, but has become very stressed with job applications, asking me to edit his job objective, experience, or even write whole cover letters for specific companies, saying he doesn't know where to start or that if he does it it will take him 2 hours+ to write a few sentences and that I can get it done much faster and better than him. At first I passed this off as "Oh, well you know he just needs more experience writing, so I really shouldn't be doing all this for him." Whenever he asked for help, I'd often nag him to write it first himself and I can help to edit it and polish it up, but he often tells me simply can't say what he really wants to say and he's afraid if he does it himself companies will turn him away. (He's highly qualified and a very hard worker, but getting into the door has been difficult for him).

I've heard that dyslexia is like running a 100 meter race with other people, except only your lane has hurdles and the others don't. So it takes much much more effort to just do simple writing/ reading things.

So I'd like some advice/ experience: Would it be appropriate to write his resumes and cover letters FOR him, asking him for input along the way? Or would it be better to advice and give him some tutoring/ practice so he can do it for himself inn the future? (which I've suggested but he really resents when I mention this?) Would this really help? What is it REALLY like, the feelings, experiences, struggles in doing things like writing essays and job applications for people with dyslexics? I do love him and I'm trying to understand.

ANY feedback is appreciated, whether you've dealt with dyslexia yourself or with someone you love.

chipc
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2018 12:06 pm

Re: Job Search-- Should I WRITE FOR my dyslexic boyfriend?

Post by chipc » Wed Jun 20, 2018 6:00 pm

I'm a 46 year old man, I'm dyslexic , forms frustrate me very much, its hard to explain why but I get overwhelmed by filling out forms or applications, my wife does this for me, even writes checks , I can do it but its a very labored process, I wish I could explain better to you about your boyfriends dyslexia but unfortunately that's one of the problems with dyslexia , transforming our thoughts into words that others can understand. Its great that you are taking the time to learn about his issue (its not a disability) my wife does all these types of things for me out of love, not understanding , which is good enough for me, but most other dyslexic ive talked to all share something in common, they feel alone and misunderstood, dont know if a non dyslexic could understand, not that its not possible, I just don't know but I garauntee the fact you are trying to understand is a big deal for him

Wisdom335
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:55 am

Re: Job Search-- Should I WRITE FOR my dyslexic boyfriend?

Post by Wisdom335 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:47 am

Hello; I understand your struggle in particular I am a female dyslexic and currently just graduated college and have a similar problem trying to get my fiancé don't understand.

It is never particularly easy to deal with dyslexia people tend to classify you and marginalize you when you were quite young, this makes it defensive to talk about it because you feel there something wrong with you But there isn't you're just different .dyslexics as adults have an easier time dealing with these issues Then children . On the flipside ,I feel there's not enough support for them once they leave school. Which is why I signed up today in the first place.

Trying to solve your problems:
- The more stressed out you are The harder it is to do anything , which makes sense why dyslexics have problems writing resumes and doing bills and taxes since they are the most stressful.
Each individual needs to concrete their own way since dyslexia affects people differently. I can suggest looking into stress management or exploring apps and technology to make your life easier .
There is software available you just need to find the right one. This can be stressful but it is worth it. I find it becomes a habit and habits are less stressful than something new.

I use Dragon naturally speaking and read and write it is a product by Texthelp sometimes you can get the company to help reimburse you for costs . There is a month free trial for any program to see if it fits you.

It is important to note you do not need to review your learning disability legally till you were hired to prevent discrimination. But I suggest having an idea on how to adapt .A strategy to deal with your learning disability in the workforce before talking to your employer .
It shows initiative And competency, they will appreciate it.

My father has the same dyslexia that your boyfriend has he finds it harder to do work later at night because he's more tired and libel to make mistakes. He doesn't particularly talk about his learning disability either. I wish he would take some of the adaptive technology because it can be easier to use than regular spellcheck some of them are better at catching things as well. It is easier to learn it when you were younger Then once you develop a pattern /Habit . Something to consider

I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck
I hope you can find something useful in what;I sent.
Please understand that all dyslexics are not the same. We have similar issues but we develop differently For example, I have run on sentences:) please have patience .

Wisdom335
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:55 am

Re: Job Search-- Should I WRITE FOR my dyslexic boyfriend?

Post by Wisdom335 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 10:13 am

I apologize for the run-on sentence is and the reposting. Despite using technology I find that I'm somewhat technically challenged. :D

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