62 and never been diagnosed

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Captain Sam
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Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2019 10:54 am

62 and never been diagnosed

Post by Captain Sam » Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:51 am

I discovered I was dyslexic in the afternoon of a summer day, when driving down the highway I gazed upon a sign, a sign I had seen hundreds of times before, but this time I could not pronounce the scramble of letters before me. I took a second look, and the scramble remained.

Had the two towns decided to rename themselves? Why had I not been aware? At that time, I suffered self-doubt to a crippling extent and this unexpected name change, I assumed they were of two indigenous tribes being that I lived next to the coast in Southern Maine, caused deep anxiety.
Right before I passed the sign and on a third look, the letters rearranged to recognizable names. On that I day, I started researching dyslexia. That one experienced opened a gate of memory for me, and several orbiting pieces fell into place.

I recall sitting in math class in grammar school. We had just finished a test and I felt confident I had got everything right. Not only did I ace it but I had made all the calculations in my head. I looked at the problem and immediately knew the right answer. The teacher suddenly loomed over my desk and the room grew dark, she tossed the test down onto the desk and emblazed in red was an italicized "F" drowning in a sea of red ink.

That day solidified a suspicion for me and no matter how many times I repeated, "It can't be right!" Disbelieving my eye's, doubting my perception, I believed I missed the obvious. I screwed up the test because contrary to what I felt and saw from the inside, the external world chanted another mantra at me, "You are stupid!"

I am dealing with those repercussions daily and I have a good chance of reviving that lost boy.

[email protected]
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: 62 and never been diagnosed

Post by [email protected] » Tue Feb 26, 2019 7:27 am

Hello Captain Sam,
I see a neurologist because I had a seizure while hospitalized about 10 years ago. I am 72 and complained to him about my memory failing. He put me on a proactive medication but as part of this he also tested me for Alzheimers with questions including counting backward from 100 by 7's. 100, 93, etc. I think I barely passed but later at home I thought "That's not a fair test for me. I've never had a good grip on math functions but I have work arounds". The next step after 93 I subtract 3 to get 90 and then subtract 4 from 90 to get 86. I don't know the highway exit # for my home town of 50 years and probably never will. Some of the issues I had have gone away by my conscious effort. This is what brought me to this forum and this is also my first post. I'm not sure what your "repercussions" statement means however you write beautifully. I hope this is not worry some to you, after all, dyslexia is a component of who we are, just one of many. I think understanding "why" will bring peace. I intend to learn more and probably find out more about myself. I'm glad you shared your story.

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