Dyslexic adult but never diagnosed, gets me down in all areas of life

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Joined:Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:03 am
Dyslexic adult but never diagnosed, gets me down in all areas of life

Post by Marie9 » Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:21 am

I'm not sure if many people post on here, but thought I would register and write a post anyway. I'm 30 and am sure I am dyslexic, or if not something very similar. I always struggled at school with most subjects but especially English and Maths, so think I have dyscalclia too as I am still terrible at maths and still use my fingers to add up. This impacts me in many ways, but especially with work, writing and socially. I struggle a lot with writing and explaining things and also expressing things. I have a job in an office and I hate doing emails because it takes me so long wording things and I get very stressed. My spelling isn't good so rely on spellchecks. Sometimes if I have a difficult email I actually text my boyfriend and ask his advise on a reply. I don't know how to talk to my employer about this, I feel ashamed and embarrassed. i'm not working now because of covid and don't know what will happened with my job. I'm scared if I have to look for another job and I am awful at writing a cv and in interviews.

I have social anxiety too because of the way people have put me down in the past about my difficulties. My memory is really bad and I find it hard to learn new things and remember new information. I struggle a lot in social situations as I can't keep up and my head hurts trying to find the words, I get mixed up with words, forget words and the meaning of words, so sometimes I can hardly talk to others and I have always found it hard to make friends. I really struggle to express my thoughts and opinions and this is even with my family, it's hard to explain but I think more in images or feelings. I'm just not a words person. I find it hard texting people, I don't know how other people can reply so quickly, I feel like my brain just can't handle words (this post has taken me ages to write and I've edited it about 5 times now!) I find it easier to talk about this, as it's something I've always struggled with, but if someone wanted to talk to me about something else I would struggle to have a conversation with them about it, like something in the news, even the current situation I find hard to talk about, hard to explain how it is affecting me, I feel I have a limited vocabulary as as child I found it hard to learn new words and when I read I come across words all the time I don't know the meanings of, and even if I look them up I would struggle to understand or if I did, an hour later I'd forget. I read some books, but I am a very slow reader and i can't read things more academic or in more old fashioned english, and I easily forget what happens and don't always understand the meaning/read between the lines. It's a really lonely way to be and I am not sure what to do, I've lived with it so long but am tired of being like this, I don't think I'm stupid, my brain just works differently, but I'm tired of people making me feel like I'm useless and thick so i don't know.

I just want to get help but I can't afford an assessment. I feel let down because I wasn't helped or tested when I was at school. I saw my gp in 2019 and asked about a referral for test and she tried but they couldnt offer it as I'm an adult and not in education (I live in the UK)
Just wondered if this sounds like dyslexia and if other people have similar symptoms? Has anyone else got tested as an adult and what exactly happens during the assessment?

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